Tuesday, January 31
dad in pain.
dad took ten minutes to walk from his bed to his toilet.usually it would take him three seconds.
each step he took was like excruciating pain.
mom is now the nurse.
need to help him with everything including washing his hair.
need to clean up the blood from his wound that stained his pillow and bedsheets.
so much patience is needed because he gets frustrated easily over little things.
mom and i aren't nurses.
of course we don't know how to do the dressings like the nurse in the hospital.
he gets frustrated over that.
i asked a friend what bandage to use to help the wound heal.
the friend offered to buy it for him.
and he got frustrated that i troubled my friend.
of course we don't know how to do the dressings like the nurse in the hospital.
he gets frustrated over that.
i asked a friend what bandage to use to help the wound heal.
the friend offered to buy it for him.
and he got frustrated that i troubled my friend.
i don't blame him for being frustrated.
i mean, from a completely able-bodied man, now, even standing up is a problem.
sleeping is painful.
going to the toilet is painful.
walking down the stairs is painful.
moving his arms is a painful.
his back hurts too.
from having to sleep completely straight on his back.
he said it's like sleeping in a coffin, cos he can't move at all.
so he tried sleeping on the chair in the day.
how much rest can one get from sitting in a chair.
Lord, please heal him quickly.
today i saw how mommy just patiently cared for him.
and loved him.
and being especially patient.
even at times when he was unnecessarily frustrated.
Lord, give her strength and help her to continue to do that.
amen.
i mean, from a completely able-bodied man, now, even standing up is a problem.
sleeping is painful.
going to the toilet is painful.
walking down the stairs is painful.
moving his arms is a painful.
his back hurts too.
from having to sleep completely straight on his back.
he said it's like sleeping in a coffin, cos he can't move at all.
so he tried sleeping on the chair in the day.
how much rest can one get from sitting in a chair.
Lord, please heal him quickly.
today i saw how mommy just patiently cared for him.
and loved him.
and being especially patient.
even at times when he was unnecessarily frustrated.
Lord, give her strength and help her to continue to do that.
amen.
help me to trust.
Wednesday, January 25
two. polaroid. love. shoes. balloon. journey.
help me to trust.
Tuesday, January 24
cny twenty twelve.
chinese new year twenty twelve.saturday.
reunion dinner with ah gong and ah ma.
sunday.
reunion dinner with yeh yeh.
he came in a wheelchair.
he didn't complain.
he didn't even speak much.
he drank coke.
he needed help to get up from the chair.
he walked really slowly.
monday - day one.
nice dress from cousin.
offered mommy and daddy tea.
three of us.
went to visit yeh yeh at his home in changi.
he spoke more.
he said the old people in his home made the cny decorations.
he asked me about whether my pen had refills.
he told me why people hang the 'fu' upside down during cny.
i told him i sent his photo for a competition and won.
glad to hear him speak more.
we usually would go to an uncle's house.
but this year we didn't.
he passed away last year.
no more taking photos on the roof top with cousins.
ah ma and ah gong.
love her cooking.
ah gong washing dishes.
cousins.
hugs ah ma.
diakest kolega came.
ah ma cooked bee hoon.
tuesday - day two.
macdonald's breakfast with family.
picked ah ma.
she treated us to durian.
went to kim poh's house and shop only to realise she is in hospital.
she used to open a fruit shop there.
i used to go there with ah ma when i was very young.
kim poh's shop would have a yakult fridge.
i remember opening the fridge to take grape yakult to drink.
today, about twenty years later.
the place has changed.
but the yakult fridge is still there.
memories.
saw ah ma's sister too whom i haven't seen in ages.
met many relatives whom i didn't quite know who they were.
later i found out that they are my ah ma's brother's children.
we sat a while and made our way to NUH.
she said when ppl are old, how much money also no use.
she doesn't know you.
she looks older.
older than before.
back to work tomorrow.
sometimes having too much time isn't good either.
idle brain ends up thinking about too many random things.
help me to trust.
Monday, January 23
teach me to truly love.
sharing
it takes trust.
loving.
it takes generosity.
thank You Lord for friends.
help me to trust.
Sunday, January 22
sufficiency.
when this journey seems like it's being travelled alone.God is there.
and maybe it's to be learnt.
God surely understands.
He's closest and wants to be so known by you in this period.
to encounter more and more of Him.
till you have no more self-sufficiency.
and can truly say you wait on Him alone.
learning to be strong.
to be strong in Him.
not in yourself.
that's when we have to turn our focus back to God.
whatever lot he has given in our lives is out of His best plan for us.
this new year.
new experiences of God being near.
of God being sufficient.
of God knowing best.
of trusting His heart.
pouring out the bottled.
writing in the little book.
pray. pray. pray.
help me to trust.
Sunday, January 15
the well.
Leave it all behindI have what you need, but you keep on searching
I've done all the work, but you keep on working
When you're running on empty
And you can't find the remedy
Just come to the well
You can spend your whole life
Chasing what's missing
But that empty inside, it just ain't gonna listen
When nothing can satisfy
And the world leaves you high and dry
Just come to the well
And all who thirst will thirst no more
And all who search will find
What their souls long for
The world will try but it can never fill
So leave it all behind
And come to the well
So bring me your heart, no matter how broken
Just come as you are, when your last prayer is spoken
Just rest in my arms a while
You'll feel a change, my child
When you come to the well
And now that you're full of love beyond measure
Your joy's gonna flow like a stream in the desert
Soon all the world will see
Living water is found in me
‘Cause you've come to the well
Your pursuit of perfection
Your fear of rejection
Your temporary pleasures
All your earthly treasures
Dried up empty religion
Rusty chains of addiction
All the guilt that weighs you down
Just leave it all behind and come to the well
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW5unzXXC0k
Lord, teach me to wait upon You.
You know best.
all my heart's desires can be satisfied when i come to the well.
and that's really all that's needed.
teach me to trust.
it's hard.
but You are trustworthy and You know best.
it's a learning journey.
of understanding myself.
of finding security in You alone.
thank You Lord that i have YOU.
(:
help me to trust.
Saturday, January 14
ninth january twenty twelve.
a friend went home to be with the Lord.heart attack.
while preparing to go to work.
in her home's toilet, and there her life ended.
thirty six years old.
that was again a strong and sober reminder that life is short.
people come. people go.
when will it be my turn?
or when will my loved ones go?
it's scary to know that as i'm typing this, that i could just get a heart attack and die now.
our lives are so fragile.
to those who believe in Jesus.
we can cry with hope.
we can say goodbye with hope.
for we know that it's not the end.
what about those without Jesus...?
a friend came back to the Lord.
and i'm humbled to know that i wasn't at all a part to play in it.
it's fully and truly by God's grace.
grace, a friend in my department.
God put her there to remind me that His grace is sufficient.
joy, a friend in my department.
God put her there to remind me to have joy in all that i do.
east timor.
i'm back.
it seemed like it was months that i was there.
processing begun quite a while ago.
not sure if it has ended.
friends and homes go together.
stayover at friend's home.
talking, sharing, loving, listening, praying.
beautiful.
a comfortable place to be truthful.
to share deeply.
and to know that there's trust between friends.
grape jelly.
mentos.
brown chinese paper.
friends and nice cafes go together.
our first place of exploration was loysel's toys.
our second place of exploration was drips bakery cafe.
looking forward to the next place!
stamp of a pony.
friends and holidays go together.
looking forward to a holiday with friends.
it's been a tough few days at work.
but God always shows me that He is sufficient.
she said.
this is part of His work in us.
it's only gonna get tougher.
but that's where we'll learn to find Him.
His grace. His strength. His peace. His joy and manna for each day.
indeed.
hello kitty sweets to prevent motion sickness.
lovely gift.
beautiful tapes.
heart shaped and clouds design.
beauuuuuutiful.
thank you.
Lord, please comfort her.
she's using the iphone cover she gave.
she's feeling regretful for missing the gathering.
Lord, be her comfort.
Lord, i trust You.
to keep waiting in hope and anticipation.
You're a God who knows best. (:
help me to trust.