Wednesday, August 31
a rainy night.
as rainy as the weather.
angry.
wronged.
apologetic.
hurt.
did i respond in a way that glorified God?
was i too quick to react?
did i use the wrong words?
why is it that i always feel attacked by the words?
do i have to do some self reflection?
why must the words be so harsh?
am i taking it too personally?
am i the only one feeling this way?
why did a simple conversation end up that way?
why use big bombastic concepts that makes me feel inadequate?
isn't it true for you as well?
assumptions, connotations, outcomes, beliefs, context, truth?
guilt trip?
is that true?
why does this matter so much to me?
why waste my emotions and energy on this?
Lord. i give my raw emotions to you.
take it and refine it.
God, are you teaching me something?
Lord, help me to be calm and to reason properly.
Lord, help me to be meek, to be humble.
forgive me Lord.
teach me to forgive myself and others.
i surrender.
take away any feelings of coldness or bitterness.
help me to love.....
love......
help me to trust.
Sunday, August 28
friends.
friends are God's gifts to us.
had time with diakest kolega and God at TCC yesterday.
learnt more about illustrator.
went running a few times.
met up with jo for dinner.
did street publicity for playmax.
carried nicole and avery without them crying.
reflecting on how to be a salt and light in office.
walking around toys r us at forum reminds me of my childhood.
jan's leaving.
thank You Lord for neighbour friends.
help me to trust.
Wednesday, August 10
a song i composed at sentosa retreat
Verse:
You've searched me
And You know me
When I sit and when I rise
You're behind me
And before me
You lay Your hand upon me
Chorus:
All of my days
Are written in Your book
All of my days
Are written in Your book
I'm secure, I'm secure, I'm secure, I'm secure
In You
help me to trust.
Tuesday, August 9
outdo one another in love.
God is teaching me to be satisfied in who He has made me to be rather than to aspire to be someone else or to feel that i have to match up to the talents of others.
Lord, teach me to give You thanks when others bless other people rather than to feel that i need to match up to it so as to gain acceptance.
the Bible teaches us to outdo one another in love, but it's in a selfless way, not a competitive way.
Lord, teach me not just to see only my weaknesses, but Lord, help me to see the strengths and talents that you have given me. others might say that i am talented in different ways, but somehow it's hard for me to believe it. all i see is how i can be more loving, more compassionate, more merciful, kinder, more real.
help me to trust.