Sunday, February 27
such a special day.
baptised today! :Dthank you to all my friends who came.
so glad to have friends witnessing this special occasion.
it's my prayer that some of them will one day come to know You.
it's amazing, my grandma also came!
happy birthday diakest kolega.
hadomi.
today's such a special day.
help me to trust.
Saturday, February 26
baptism tomorrow.
tomorrow is the day!excited and nervous at the same time.
dear God, help me speak from my heart.
help me to trust.
Wednesday, February 23
ten years.
been thinking about her.just finished reading the book "feeling blue".
it's a book about how to help a youth handle depression.
there was a chapter about why youths commit suicide.
and signs to know that one is thinking about suicide...
she had a lot of those signs.
weight lost, no appetite, saying that it'll be better without her, giving away her fave things, saying she's not worth our time and love, talking about being a failure, rejecting praise, drop in school attendance.
another chapter was about the reactions of youths who have lost a friend or family because of suicide.
feelings of disbelief, guilt, blame, intense sadness, suicidal feelings, confusion, anger, hiding emotions inside and pretending everything was okay.
first reactions of shutting down, feeling numb, disbelief.
then experiencing intense emotions upon realising the deceased is truly gone.
and eventually emotions become less intense and the bereaved becomes more engaged in everyday life.
feeling a lot of emotions when going to places or doing things that remind one of the deceased.
i can identify with that.
didn't realise it was normal for me to have felt that way.
it has been ten years.
thank God for seeing me through that extremely difficult time as a fifteen year old.
only by His grace was i able to heal and live life.
God was the one who held me close during those many nights of tears and doubts.
i had no one else but God.
without God i wouldn't have come out of that depressing time.
journalling also helped me a lot, esp since i didn't want to share my feelings with others....
the book also said not to be afraid to refer to the deceased by name.
and to do things to remember the person, for example looking at past photos, thinking of past memories, remembering the person's birthday, talking about the person with another friend.
and as a friend to someone who has lost a friend due to suicide, sometimes there really isn't any words to say, but it's comforting enough to be there for the friend, to listen.
reading the book brought back so much memories and brought to the surface some of the deep emotions that have been hidden inside. as i look back, there's nothing else i can do but to thank the Lord for seeing me through.
glory to God.
help me to trust.
Saturday, February 12
a gift.
How do we stop living like life is an emergency or something to be sped wildly through? How do we start believing that life can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried... a bubble held in awe. How do we stop wolfing life down?All this or all these moments - all these are for you. Isn't that the Voice we have to learn to hear? The Voice that is telling the whole world that the earth under you and the rain over you, and all the stars spinning round you, this is for you, for you, for you.
So count the ways He loves, a thousand, more, never stop, so that when you wake in the morning you can't help unfold your hands to the heavens, and though you grieve and though you wonder, though the world is ugly, it is beautiful, and though time moves on, it's moments are holy, and though the planet spins, a blur, you can slow and you can wake and you can trust and and you can pay attention to the moments with this offering of thanks -- because this is how you spend your one life well --
Receiving each moment for what it really is: holy, ordinary, amazing grace.
A gift.
-by Ann Voskamp
help me to trust.
Friday, February 11
from the word of God.
psalm 119:9-11how can a young woman keep her way pure?
by guarding it according to Your word.
with my whole heart i seek You
let me not wander from Your commandments.
i have stored up Your word in my heart
that i might not sin against You.
1 corinthians 10:12-13
therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability
but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape
that you may be able to endure it.
help me to trust.
praying with friends.
ninth feb - a friend prayed for me over the phone.for courage to talk to leaders.
tenth feb - a friend and i prayed together over the phone.
for our lives to be pleasing to God.
eleventh feb - a friend prayed for me in office.
for courage to email office friends for baptism.
prayer deepens relationships.
prayer encourages open sharing.
prayer gives one courage.
prayer leads one to action.
she prayed for me in her office cubi.
i think that takes courage too.
never imagined that my work place could be a place where friends can pray together.
it's the very first time. (:
help me to trust.
Saturday, February 5
two quotes.
life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier.simplicity is the only thing that can sufficiently reorient our lives so that possessions can be genuinely enjoyed without destroying us.
help me to trust.
Tuesday, February 1
small cute happy faces.
help me to trust.