Tuesday, January 31
an expensive meal
yesterday my family had lunch with my uncle and my cousin. ate at shangri la hotel. the meal was good. we all ate our full. food was good but not totally fantastic. after we finished, the bill came. my uncle paid for it because he was the one who invited us. guess how much it cost? it cost half a thousand. i was shocked. paying half a thousand for food is really not worth it at all! ouch... we could have eaten better food which cost much less. just because it was shangri la..... so expensive!!!!!! haiz... this is the most expensive meal i had.
help me to trust.
be still
....when the oceans rise and thunders roari will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
i will be still know You are God...
too many activites, too many things to keep my focus off the Lord. being still before God is one of the things many of us do not often do. but yet being still in His presence is what draws us nearer to Him. as i am typing this, my youngest brother is actually reading the bible and doing his quiet time. puts many of us as older ones to shame. many times we go past a week without even spending 10 minutes with God. yet, my brother, with his childlike faith reads the Bible and prays everyday before he sleeps. ryan, although you don't know it, thanks for being such an encouragement to me.
help me to trust.
Monday, January 30
the first day of CNY
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!
the first day of CNY:
pics of my 2 naughty brothers and my grandparents... i have 3 grandparents. 1 passed away already. the 2 of them in the first pic are my mother's parents. they are amazing. my grandfather always drives us to church on sunday morning in his taxi (he's a half day taxi driver). sometimes he and my grandma would bring milo packets, biscuits and food all the way from their house in chinatown to my house in jurong.. they take public transport all the way leh. the only thing is that they are not christians. i have been praying that they will know Christ. can't bear to part with them. my grandma's an awesome cook! i love her cooking! and grandpa cares alot about us. he knows we all like duck drumstick. so he will specially buy 3 of the drumsticks just for us. i've shared the gospel to them through various means already, but they don't seem to respond. Lord, please, change their hearts. when i get baptised, i'm gona invite them to listen to my testimony. for my grandma's sake, i will try sharing my testimony in hokkien. i must bring them to a Hokkien service one day.
in the 3rd pic, it's my dad's dad. his personality is quite different. i know he cares for us just as much, but he does not know how to show it. he's not a sociable person and he's not as very cheerful. he's the grumpy kind and complaining kind... in the past, he would buy durian up to our house for us to eat. and he would even buy the famous tiong bahru fishballs for us. he's a good grandfather. but now that he has gotten dementia, he can hardly remember things. in a conversation, he can ask you the same question 4 times. we still love him as much, he's a christian. Lord, my prayer for him is that you keep him close to you and to have a true, walking and growing relationship with you. wana see him in heaven!
help me to trust.
Friday, January 27
2 pics...
took these pics during jess's 1st month celebration! that's miss tan in the 1st pic! haven't seen her in ages. she's a teacher in my sec sch.. but she's so nice that she's kinda became like a friend to me! the twins in the 2nd pic are ruth's friends.. the one in red is ruth's sister. really nice ppl too!
help me to trust.
Thursday, January 26
choc fudge brownie
saw this pic on my friend's blog. this is what i feel like eating now!
help me to trust.
Sunday, January 22
renew my life
sang this song during worship today. echos perfectly the prayer of my heart.renew my life Lord Jesus
i never want to be the same.
renew my life Lord Jesus
place Your heart inside of me.
in my life and thoughts
there are so many things,
that need a change
that only Your love can bring.
and i need to be transformed
into Your likeness O Lord.
so change this heart inside of me.
help me to trust.
Saturday, January 21
relating to youths
just had a good chat with a friend over msn. caused me to think about ministry... Lord, help me have the passion for all the youths out there. Teach me the way you would relate to each individual.
help me to trust.
1. I can use my tongue to touch my nose.
2. I enjoy acting weirdly in front of my two younger brothers to amuze them.
3. I can scream at the top of my lungs if ever a bird comes near me.
4. I get irritated with my brother when he starts to sing loudly, so i usually scold him.
5. I do not stay in a hall, but the way I dress cause many friends to ask me if I do.
6. When a beetle flies into my room, i will use one of my collection of tiny bottles to cover it, because i'm too afraid to use a tissue to pick it up and throw it away.
7. i love roller coasters and any kind of thrilling theme park rides.
8. i have never worn a skirt since i was sec 1.
Today was the match b/w church and BB boys. it was a rainy day. but we continued to play. everything was just quite messy and the sound of the rain hitting on the metal shelter was an irritation to the ears of many. the most fun part about today is playing with C an K and also kicking water at D. ha. supposed to have team mtg today, but B was sick. so we didn't have it. B (if you are reading this), hope you are well... take care!
help me to trust.
Friday, January 20
dreams
8 things i wish i could do at least once in my lifetime. (not in any order)1. Be at the beach at 12 midnight. Bring along my guitar. Sit by the waters, listening to the waves, watching the stars, and singing praises to God.
2. Go to Jerusalem.
3. Spend a year or two overseas. Maybe in London?
4. Try bungee jumping or jump of a plane (of course with a parachute) or sky diving.
5. Have a ride in a helicopter.
6. Go backpacking to some country. Visit the villages. Spend time with the kids there. Free and easy. Just have fun. Visit the popular places. Go sight seeing. Admire the mountains, sea, forest, waterfalls, and all the wonderful things that God created.
7. Go scuba diving.
8. Experience snow and go skiing.
help me to trust.
Thursday, January 19
thank you Lord
I recognise the weaknesses I have in me, how I have failed God in so many areas of my life. I am not worthy of His love, but yet He still accepts me for who I am. This is God's unconditional love.
help me to trust.
Saturday, January 14
a trip
just got back from CT. made this trip there with LW, C, A and C. the festive mood of CNY filled the air of CT. the streets were lighted up with a whole array of colourful lights. indeed people's hearts were all ready for the coming of CNY. as we walked down the streets, we decided to enter a certain religious place of worship. they were having a ritual. many of them looked to their god (which was in the form of a statue) and they worshipped. as i stood there to watch, i experienced a mixture of emotions. i felt a little uncomfortable i must say. it's the first time i stepped into a religious place of worship other than that of my own religion. i was uncomfortable because the people were doing things that i knew not of and i was so close to the statues (not that they mean anything). somehow, the whole environment just didn't feel right. as they proceeded with their ritual, all i could do was to stand and watch. there were too many things i couldn't comprehend. i felt really sad for them. standing there, i blinked a few times to get rid of the tears that were starting to well up in my eyes. if only they knew the truth............
help me to trust.
Friday, January 13
broke.
i'm broke. just spent $218.30 on paying for my january guitar class and theory class fees and the grade 6 guitar exam book. cost me a bomb. each month i take out $180++ from my pocket to pay for my music lessons. uni textbooks are horrifyingly expensive, and you only use them for 4 months. microecons text cost 40 bucks. i am not going to buy it. i will probably look for cheap 2nd hand ones. i managed to borrow the macroecons text from a friend. i bought the math text for $15 today. at least that was affordable. for theatre studies and social work text, lw is helping me borrow it from her friend. thanks. something to thank God for: i sold the sociology textbook that i bought last year. bought it for 26 and sold it for 20. good deal.
nowadays i don't usually ask my parents for money. in the past, they paid for my transport, my guitar fees, my textbooks, my stationery etc. now i do the paying. i earn some money from giving tuition. it's not alot, but sufficient if i don't spend it carelessly or thoughtlessly. i have to learn how to spend money wisely, so that i can give to the Lord and yet at the same time pay for all my fees!
children can melt ones heart. went to a friend's house yesterday to play with her 3 year old kids. they are amazingly adorable! they are so sincere and so lovable. it is easy to make them smile. one of them gave me a big hug twice!! hahah... so sweet. i had so much joy and fun playing with them.
yesterday i called C. had BS with her the previous week. during BS, she said she felt uncomfortable talking about Christian stuff with her friends. but yesterday, she shared with me that she wrote a card to her friend to share about Jesus and eventually she found the opportunity to follow up with a call through the phone. she was afraid, but she found courage and she did it. jia you C! good job, well done! let's all not be afraid to tell our loved ones about Jesus. Jesus is the best gift you can give to your loved ones. pray unceasingly for them. be persistent in prayer.
help me to trust.
Thursday, January 12
death
as children, we attend our friend's birthday partiesas adults, we attend our friend's wedding
as an elderly, we attend our friend's funeral
there is one thing that is inevitable for every human. that is - death. some might shiver at the idea of death. but there is no escaping from it. 2 weeks ago, i went to the wake of my friend's grandfather. her grandfather is a Christian and he wrote a testimony about 3 months before he passed away. as i read what he wrote, it warmed my heart to know that he still trusted in God despite his situation. that is a lesson we all have to learn. for Christians, death is not THAT scary after all. because we all know where we are going. and it is possible because of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross.
help me to trust.
Sunday, January 8
the real power of chapteh
played badminton with my church friends today. kicked the chapteh around with some of them while waiting for our turn. just before we left, i sat down cross legged on the floor and i looked at my feet. this was what i saw. (right foot) OUCH! This is the REAL POWER OF CHAPTEH.
this was what it used to look like. (this is my left foot)
anyway, i didn't play well during badminton. just couldn't hit the shuttle until the last 15 mins of our 3 hour badminton game. so i was rather agitated with myself. i might have played better if i relaxed. i was too full of frustration probably. each ball that came, i just wanted to smash it or hit it as hard as i could. and when i tried to do that, i either missed it or it went straight into the net. the more i played, the more i didn't want to play. if this does happen again, i would learn how to let go of the perfect standard i expect of myself and learn to enjoy the game. dear Lord, i pray that you'll help me. lw, thx for the drinks, you brought 4 bottles, and we made it into 8! it was nice and refreshing!
help me to trust.
Saturday, January 7
chapteh
chapteh. my parents used to play with that. no wonder mom is so good at kicking that piece of rubber with feathers sticking out of it. never knew the power of chapteh until today. chapteh brought the few of us together. we started kicking and all of us had our own speciality. some could use their entire body to play, some just had the instinct to use their hands, some could kick really high, some made funny noises when they miss the chapteh, some could kick with both legs, some could do very nice headers! it was interesting to see each one of them kicking it in their own style! such a simple 'toy', yet many emotions were brought out. our target was to get everyone kick the chapteh at least once. we failed many times, but through that, we learnt perseverance. also, whenever any one of us couldn't kick the chapteh, it caused us to be a little irritated with ourselves. and finally when everyone kicked the chapteh, that made all of us jump and a wide smile spread across our faces. at times, someone would make a funny mistake, and that just sends all of us laughing away. occasionally, someone does an amazing save/kick then we'll go, "good one!" we also had to learn how to put aside our discomfort (sweat) and focus on reaching our target. see, playing chapteh is not as simple as playing chapteh.
help me to trust.
Friday, January 6
babies
after cell group today, some of us were just talking about babies, about how some women get miscarriages and how some babies are still born, and how some mothers die after giving birth to the children. what a tragedy. R must really thank God for giving her such a healthy baby and for keeping her safe. thank you Lord.
help me to trust.
Sunday, January 1
thoughts
pride. selfishness. these words describe me. God has been good to me. maybe, too good to me. when things seem to be going down the drain, He would always be there to pick me out. there are uncountable instances of such happenings. God has been gracious, but i have been taking Him for granted. i'm grateful for His mercy and grace, my heart is filled with joy and relief each instance i experience it. but i fear that one day i will get what i deserve. how would i take failure? i don't know. my life has been overly good. it has been too good that sometimes, i forget the one who brought me there. i get proud of my own achievements. i seek recognition from others. this is pride. i know my weakness, i have been trying, i don't know if i have changed.selfishness - yes. i am. i enjoy familiarity, i enjoy comfort. i try to escape if i have a choice. life does not revolve around me. i am not the centre of my life. God should be taking that place. it's not just about me. it is about God, it is about others. i'm too impatient with people. i think i'm talking more than i'm listening. would i be able to tell when a friend is in trouble? would my friends share their problems with me? or would they think that i would not have the time for them? would they see me as one whom they can trust and one who will take time to listen to them? dear friends, i appreciate all of you for who you are, you guys are fabulous. sorry for the times when i have been selfish... thanks for the friendship. each of you who have stepped into any part of my life, thank you...
thank you my 3 buddies-cheryl, linwei, anna.
thank you the 3 oldies-desmond, sandra, terina.
thank you church friends-charissa, jan, charmaine, audrey, jean, rebecca, katrina, jane, felicia, ruth, debbie, jimmy, gwenneth, joy, and all the youths, young adults, aunties and uncles in my church.
thank you yfc friends- peiling, beverly, michelle, myrtle, candy, wailing, jolene, christa, lian sie, lee kien, xiuying, ching yi, joyce, boon jin and all the west area stds/personnel and all the other areas too!
thank you taggers-germaise, xuanzhi
thank you pri sch friends- yee li, hwee san, chensi, yenfang, yammie, shi yin, melissa and all from my class in qifa.
thank you sec sch friends- wanlin, collin, wanting, mingfen, peisi, yee chin, yiling, gwendolyn, shuxian and all from css.
thank you jc friends- zien, diana and all in s74.
thank you touch ruggers- xinhong, long hui, bela, xinyan, peiqing, shena, cynthia, charlotte, jolene, claire and all in sajc/rjc/tjc/nyp/blacks touch ruggers.
thank you teachers- guitar teacher, touch rug teacher (miss lee), touch rug coaches (serena, tabi), math tuition teacher (jackson), pri sch teacher (ms rachel ng), sec sch teacher (miss mae tan), jc teachers (miss alexis tan, miss sng, miss lim, miss thng)
thanks dad, mom, shan and ry.
help me to trust.