Wednesday, June 22
a decade has passed.
twenty second of june.it's been a decade.
but the memories and the feelings and the pain still do not go away.
it's like a memory and a part of me that will always remain.
the memory is so vivid.
it just seems and feels like yesterday.
the everything.
hearing the news and choosing to believe that it's all a dream.
taking out photos and cards with shaking hands.
walking around where she lay, putting the yellow flower inside, knowing that it signifies my last goodbye.
but it was a goodbye she never could respond to.
writing and writing and writing non stop, hoping the pain goes away.
being strong infront of people and never shedding a tear.
feeling empty at badminton practices.
breaking down while visiting her there.
wondering what it would have been for her if she were here.
even after a decade, tears still well up.
why doesn't the pain go away?
ten years. ten years.
all that is left is a memory.
all that is left are pictures.
all that is left is a card.
going back there is like accepting the truth once again.
accepting the pain and reality of it all.
i don't think this pain will ever go away, even in decades to come.
Lord, You know.
help me to trust.